


Found

by Writing_in_SIN



Series: Chasing Eucatastrophe [2]
Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Houjou Emu Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Limbo, Missing Scene, Parad Needs a Hug, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 17:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21432049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/pseuds/Writing_in_SIN
Summary: "I thought death is just nothingness." Blinking up at the abyss, Parad tilts his head in confusion. "So why do I still exist?"
Relationships: Houjou Emu & Parad (Kamen Rider Ex-Aid), Houjou Emu/Parad
Series: Chasing Eucatastrophe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544239
Kudos: 33





	Found

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This is to those who may prefer to read my story 'Chasing Eucatastrophe' as separate one-shots.
> 
> WARNING: While I tend to write my Ex-aid fics about them as Gen, what the relationship between Emu and Parad is up to your interpretation. Honestly speaking, I see their relationship as something that not only has no definition but is actually BEYOND definition; literally something that's beyond their very identity. I mean, how do you define a relationship of two souls that are now merged into one; a relationship that's basically what home is? So how you want to see their relationship as is up to you.
> 
> Do I ship ParaEmu? YES!
> 
> But that doesn't mean everyone does so how you wanna see them is up to you readers.
> 
> Just keep in mind that whenever I write the relationship between Emu and Parad, it's going to be intimate because of the reasons I've mentioned above. If I can put it into words, this is the closest thing I could think of: They're not each other's priority, they're each other's FACT; someone that goes without saying. It's like how even though water is given priority over food, things are different when air is added to the equation. I think we all know that unlike water or food, air isn't seen as a priority but is instead a FACT that goes without saying.
> 
> ...Does that make any sense?
> 
> Anyway, please read the tags in case if there's something that you may not like and hope you'll enjoy the fic.

* * *

**FOUND**

* * *

Dying is scary.

But having Emu; his most favourite and important person in his short life to be the last thing he sees before he dies is both a comfort and a blessing he knows that he doesn't deserve but is grateful for it all the same.

The pain of dying still catches him off guard though.

It's heavy in his bones, crushing him, stifling him. It's inside his skin, trying to drown him from the inside out. Parad wants to scream, but he can't make a sound. There's a weight on his chest, pressing on his lungs and squeezing painfully every time he tries to suck in air. So he stops trying. Lets go.

And drowns.

A gasp and the pain leaves him just as suddenly as it came; the relief almost instantaneous. All the weight, every ounce of pain and worry and pressure, everything he was never even aware that he was carrying, it all melts away for good. For a while he drifts along, light and senseless.

Brows furrowing, Parad blinks in the quiet, still darkness.

Death is scary.

Funnily enough, it doesn't stay that way for long as the fear slowly ebbs away like the waters that's cradling him as lethargy takes its place. It's different from before when he was drowning in the deep, dark waters with no light and no way up for him to break for air. Part of him wonders if it's the same for all Bugsters or if it's just him. Parad is, after all, a unique Bugster— even amongst his kind.

Parad was born; not created after all.

Not like the others.

All the other Bugsters are based on their games while he's the exact opposite; having two games based on him instead. It makes Parad wonder about the dichotomy of his existence.

Well...considering that he's dead, Parad has all the time in the world to contemplate on that. Especially since even in death, he apparently is never going to escape the waters.

He pouts.

Wiggling his fingers and kicking his feet, Parad finds that he's floating on his back and that the water is warm; almost like he's taking a bath. It's kinda nice. Odd...but nice. And although he's still deathly (heh) afraid of water; of death itself— floating supine on an endless ocean that's warm instead of freezing cold isn't half bad; especially after all the horrible things he's done.

Weird though.

"I thought death is just nothingness." Blinking up at the abyss, Parad tilts his head in confusion. "So why do I still exist?"

Even without looking around, he knows there can only be an endless ocean. No end and no beginning.

And it's quiet.

_'No, not quiet,'_ he thinks distantly as he stares up at the abyss.

It's the sheer absence of sound itself— like he'd been placed in a vacuum; a place void even of the subtle hum of the air. There's nothing he can hear, smell, or taste. Curious, Parad breathes (he thinks he breathes) but there's no feeling of air moving in, nor out. It's as though this place simply is, and he too simply…

Is.

And so he just be.

He has no idea how long he's been floating. There's no notion of time itself. It can be minutes, days, years— he doesn't know. All he does is stare up in a daze; blinking in and out of what seems to be a dream.

He dreams of Cronus reaching out to swing a finishing blow onto Emu; feels righteous anger and protectiveness flare up in him before it melt into warm pride at Emu's strength as he fights back with glowing red eyes. Relief washes over him when Cronus is defeated and Parad thinks that's when the dream ends as he wakes up to the watery abyss.

Perhaps this is what death is supposed to be like for him; dreams and warm watery darkness. Not bad, he guess. Parad is filled simultaneously with a distant sense of urgency, and complete peace. It's strange, how there's not even fear in him anymore despite how terrified he was of death when he was alive. Parad thinks he still is though...maybe just numb to it. Like he's on morphine.

Then something sparks, before a wave of emotions not his own threatens to drown him.

Shock. Rage. Terror. Regret. Hope. Sorrow.

Longing. Affection.

Grief so strong it chokes him.

Even if he knows that the emotions are not his own, the force of it leaves him breathless and paralysed. Despite that, he reaches a hand out because there's a feeling in his chest where his heart is supposed to be that's telling him to protect, to comfort.

To love.

A voice; dear to him, cries out in pain and grief.

_Give Parad back to me...!_

And his body _moves._

A presence he thought he'd never feel again; a mind and heart that he knows far better than his own at times. It's familiar and warm. Parad doesn't think beyond anything than wanting to give comfort instead of pain and so, he does— wraps his arms around his kind yet battered heart and holds tight.

A sob is wretched out of his heart and Emu clings to him as Parad closes his eyes, running a hand through Emu's hair. A loop forms. It pushes and pulls the emotions between them, aching his chest as he pulls Emu closer to rock them back and forth before he leans down to whisper into the doctor's ear.

_Sleep, Emu._

Emu's breath stutters before evening out into something calmer, leaning bonelessly against him and Parad can do nothing but tuck Emu under his chin, holding fast.

Breathe in and he blinks awake in the warm darkness.

Seconds. Hours. Days.

Images flashing before him. Concerned faces surrounding his heart as Emu takes one step after another; slower, weighted down but ever determined. The hospital rooftop with grief still running through the veins of his heart but who steels himself to look into Hinata Kyoutarou's eyes with a favour on his lips. A press conference that speaks of hope— that promises life, no matter how long it'll take.

Houjou Emu; his heart, at the centre of it all.

Breathe out and he slowly gets to his feet as the waves brush against his calves.

It's not over. Not yet.

One foot after another, one foot after another, walking through the unresisting waters. There's a warm sensation in his chest, spreading and spreading. It makes him realise that while the waters have always been warm, he hadn't been. But that's not the case anymore. There's warmth within him again and it's only growing stronger for each step he takes. There should be no end and no beginning to where he is. Despite that, he doesn't stop because it's not the end. Not yet. Parad is still here and because he's still here, he's not gonna let go yet. So much to make up for. So much to repent.

So much to live for.

Parad looks around, and that's when he realises that the ocean is no longer quite so dark, nor so black. The edges are tinged with colour now— bright with life. Head tilting in curiosity, he waddles closer and sees a shore that shines with a warm glow. What should be caution, relief takes its place and Parad continues forward, steps easy and senses returning to him, one by one; like puzzle pieces falling into place. And for each step he takes, a heartbeat grows stronger, more hopeful. It takes shape in a form of wistful stories and gentle prayers; his heart taking up the habit of talking out loud to Parad whenever Emu is alone and sometimes, even when he's not. But always, its followed by warmth and affection.

In return, Parad responds with melodies; humming under his breath and even singing aloud. It's a distant memory now but, he thinks that he's only let himself sing around Emu and Emu only when they shared the same body. So it's only fair that it stays that way so, for each step he takes that brings him closer to his heart, Parad sings in answer; making up songs as he goes along.

While he's not sure, Parad thinks he can hear Emu laughing at his antics because the songs he sings are silly and whimsical; filled with game sound effects than actual words or melodies. It causes him to smile because his heart deserves to laugh without pain.

His senses become clearer, hope growing stronger and the heartbeat grows louder.

_Ever wonder why you could transform into Ex-Aid even though Parad was erased?_

It's not over. For as long as he and Emu draw breath, for as long as they both want to live; for themselves and each other—

They will _live._

_There's only one answer!_

_You mean, that time...?_

Lifting his head, Parad grins when he sees a familiar figure in a white coat already waist deep in the waters and who's staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes. His heart stumbles forward, clumsiness kicking in but is ignored in favour of rushing forward to Parad with desperate hope. Laughing, Parad sprints forward and meets Emu halfway; their fingers touching.

_You were infected by Parad once again!_

In that split second, he feels his entire body freeze, the power emanating from them both an unbearable pressure, so strong yet so comforting in its familiarity. For that second, he feels like he's touching into the very core of him, of them, of each other. It's beautiful, horrible, fractured hollow, peace and despair and laughter and silence, love and home trapped within it. The waves stop moving, and everything in this world seemed to fade away all at once.

His eyes close as he smiles—

**Parad!**

—and falls.

"This...isn't a dream, right?"

There's a sheen in Emu's eyes from holding back tears and a tremble in his voice filled with so much hope that mirrors the ache in Parad's chest. Parad feels every second that passes in the silence that follows, and something in his chest clicks back into place, like it had always been dislodged and just now settled back into its rightful place. The fierce rush of affection and joy and heartache nearly made him stagger, and it takes a while for him to realise he stopped breathing.

But when Emu reaches a hand out to him, bit by bit, Parad feels the fog in his brain clear, and overwhelming, unbearable joy fills him. So he breathes anew and reaches out to grasp Emu's hand, and their hearts feel warm, and alive.

Emu grips back tight onto his hand in return, letting himself be pulled up and back into Emu's orbit. They share a smile and Parad can see that Emu is hesitant to step away from him but when the call comes for an emergency and they run into the elevator, side by side, Parad thinks it's okay because now, they have all the time in the world to catch up.

But his heart has always been full of surprises.

"Emu?" Parad stares at the doctor in confusion when Emu presses the emergency stop for the elevator, white clad shoulders trembling. "What's wro— oof!"

"You're alive, you're alive, you're alive," Emu babbles, wet and breathless as he wraps his arms around Parad's neck with such force that they're both propelled backwards and against the back wall.

The full force of Emu's emotions hits him then, and it leaves him breathless as tears well up in his eyes. Parad feels the sheer relief, the pure joy at his return and his arms scramble up to grip Emu close to him, pushing his face into Emu's neck. He's never had anyone so happy to see him alive before; not like this and to know that Emu misses him just as much, just as fiercely— it eases something deep within him.

"Thought I lost you…" Emu's breath hitches, breaks, "…dead. You were dead and saved us, saved me, sorry, thank you. You're alive! Thank you for being alive—" The words are choked off as Emu pushes closer.

Parad closes his eyes, pulls Emu in tighter in an attempt to still Emu's trembling. It's only then, with their bodies pressed close that he realises that he's shaking just as much. His own body is vibrating and he thinks that he's in a bit of a shock himself, his lungs expanding and contracting in irregular bursts. Too soon, Emu pulls away in concern.

"Parad," Emu murmurs, gripping the back of Parad's neck to rest their foreheads together. "It's okay, I'm here."

He nods, tears streaming down his face as his hands bunch up Emu's coat. "Emu."

"Mmh?"

"...five minutes. Can we stay like this for five minutes before we find the patient?"

Emu lets out a wet laugh and nods. "Sure."

"It's okay?"

"I've already asked Poppy to go first." Emu runs a hand through Parad's curls as he looks up at Parad with tear stained cheeks. "I need this too."

Swallowing with some difficulty, Parad burrows close, presses his face into Emu's hair and refuses to let go. "Emu."

"Parad." It shouldn't be possible considering their past animosity but there's no denying Emu's sincere happiness through their bond in having Parad alive and in his arms as Emu hugs him so tightly that Parad is pretty sure that if he had been human, there'd be imprints of Emu's hands bruised into his skin. Emu lets out a choked sob and grins into his neck. "Okaeri, Parad."

Breathing out a watery laugh, Parad grins in kind against Emu's forehead. "Tadaima, Emu."

Eyes fluttering closed, his fingers splay against Emu's back and he's breathing deeply; contentment, utter contentment radiates from their bond and Parad thinks that this may be what home is supposed to be.


End file.
